During my coaching sessions with leaders, a topic that often comes up is how they can deal with a difficult boss. I then begin our conversation with a powerful question and one that usually stirs some deep thinking in their minds:

Think of a leader you have met along the way who has helped you get to where you are today. What made them so impactful for you?

I notice their faces and bodies as they seem to come to a stand still. Whatever they were saying is stopped and silence just permeates our space. Each person has a unique way of processing the question. I may ask them what their bodies are sensing at that moment. Some people quickly have a response while others seem to hold their thoughts inside of their minds. The beauty of this question is that there is no right or wrong answer. No good or bad response. It empowers each leader to not only identify an important person in their life but also what they learned from them. Additionally, imagining that individual can evoke a strong physical reaction which helps leaders connect with how they feel about that person.

Taking stock in whom we have met and what lessons we have learned from them is a helpful way to honor where we are today and where we are headed. Those important people help shape our leadership today.

How has your leadership been shaped by the people you have met along the way?

1. Make A List Of Three Important People In Your Life

To begin this exercise simply write out the names of people who have crossed your path in both your personal and professional life and who have impacted you in some way. No order and no judging. Create a short list of names of family members, friends, co-workers, bosses, teachers or people you volunteer with. Your might even want to consider writers or thought leaders.These important people may or may not be with us now.

2. Write Short Anecdotes About Each

After you have your list together, it is time to just reflect on your interactions with them. These narratives will help you think more deeply how they impacted your leadership journey. When creating these anecdotes:

• Be as specific as possible.
• Keep the stories simple and short.
• Imagine being with them in the moment.
• Try to have a smile on your face as it will bring you to a good place.

3. Identify The Leadership Lessons Learned From Your Connections

Now comes the “connect-the-dots” part of this process. Ask yourself what you learned and how you grew as a leader from having this person in your life. Go a step further and recognize the qualities and behaviors each of these people possessed. How did those characteristics impress and change you? The lessons may have been about how to be more effective in your job responsibilities or how to lead with integrity and trust. All the things you learned had an impact on who you are today. Leaders grow from the words and stories shared by people they meet along the way.

4. Decide How To Keep The Words and Stories Alive

Now that you know the lessons you have learned from the important individuals in your life, it is essential to keep them alive and part of your leadership. What are some ways to keep the stories alive?

• Use the words and stories as a compass to guide you especially during challenging times.
• Keep the lessons in a special place easy to access in case you need reinforcing.
• Share the anecdotes and teachings with your team members and ask them about the important people they met along the way.
• Become a leader who epitomizes those important people as they and their advice will never let you down.

What have you learned from the people you have met along the way? If you need a thought partner to help you identify those special people in your life just reach out to chat.