Leaders walk a fine line between creating a healthy rapport with their teams and becoming too emotionally entangled to lead with objectivity. This is often a result of leaders not being able to create boundaries with others because they feel and care so much. When we are more concerned with how another person will respond to our feedback than telling the truth, we aren’t being strong and authentic leaders. In addition, we aren’t helping others to grow and be their best, when we aren’t being honest.
Empathy involves putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, but not living in their souls. When we are empathetic leaders, we are able to hear our team member’s points of view while simultaneously sharing our important perspectives. It can sometimes be a challenge to keep our emotions in check when we have a personal connection to someone on our team. Leaders who are able to self-manage how they are feeling will be able to be more impactful in their delivery.
Here are a few leadership strategies to balance our hearts and minds:
1. Know Your Mindset
Before entering a conversation with a colleague or teammate, be clear on how you may be entering this space. Sometimes leaders bring a biased perspective to the table without realizing how they are feeling. Perhaps a leader assumes that the individual will automatically give them “push back”. Maybe there is a history of conflict with this team member and a leader is dreading the talk. Know your feelings ahead of time and commit to putting them aside. A calm and curious mindset goes a far way.
2. Validate First
When having a discussion with team members, begin the conversation by validating what is being shared. Each person is entitled to their understanding of a situation and honoring their perspective will set the tone for a healthier discussion. People need to be heard and understood. Empathetic leaders create the space for team members to express themselves in a safe environment. That does not mean we need to feel that it is our responsibility to implement every suggestion that is offered. Begin with statements like:
- “I hear what you are saying.”
- “I understand why you might feel this way.”
- “I can see you are very concerned about this situation.”
3. Be Sincere Responding
A fake leader can be recognized a mile away. It is so important that we are transparent and honest in what and how we communicate. Use clear and specific words as well as appropriate body language. It can be a good idea to take a few moments to gather our thoughts before sharing what we are thinking. Stay open-minded and ask powerful questions that can get at the heart of what is happening. The goal is to lead with curiosity and respect.
4. Connect and Build Rapport
Ask questions to get to know the person better so that our team members feel we care about them. The key with these conversations is to show concern, but not to delve into any highly charged or emotional issues. Leaders can build rapport by seeking information about a team member’s passion or how they spend time outside of work. Maybe by sharing something about yourself can be worthwhile in building the relationship. When we invest our time in learning about someone we:
- Cultivate more trust.
- Get a deeper understanding of the whole individual.
- Discover mutual ways to forge ahead.
5. Focus On The Issue
When there is conflict or a difference in opinion on handling a situation, leaders must resolve the issues in a healthy way. The best approach is remaining focused on the issue at hand. A leader can offer their best solution, sticking with the challenge and specific ways to resolve it. It is important that individuals have the opportunity to contribute their opinion while at the same time not being overly empathetic to their preferences. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be proactive. Be clear.
Do you have the right amount of empathy in your leadership strategy?